What’s the first question you’d ask someone who just climbed a mountain? Would you ask how the hike was? How did they feel at the summit? Or would you jump straight to asking when they’re planning their next climb? The last question might come later—or not at all—especially if they aren’t a professional climber.
But isn’t this exactly what we do in real life? When we meet an old friend, a colleague, or a relative who shares their achievements with us, how often is our first question, “What’s next?”
When I got into an MBA program, no one asked how I prepared for it. Instead, they asked, 'Who will take care of your mother while you’re gone?' When I graduated, the question wasn’t about my hard work or journey—it was, “When will you find a boyfriend?” When I started dating, it became, “When are you getting married?” And now that I’m getting married, the next question is, “When will you have kids?”
Every success requires a lot of hard work. It never comes easy. You can see 1 glorious year in someone’s life and maybe it's natural to imagine where they go next, but we are all humans in the end. No one ever went on to achieve one thing after the other without taking a break. The climb is never easy, it tires the person taking the effort, there are times when they want to stop, but they keep going. The first thing anyone does when they get to the top, is not to enjoy the view, they stand there catching their breath, maybe drinking water and when they come to their senses, and feel normal again, they look at the horizon and realize they have made it.
Let’s be more empathetic. Let’s ask about the journey, not just the destination, and celebrate the effort that got them there. When we do, we share in their happiness—not just the picture-perfect moment at the summit, but the long and winding road it took to get there.
So next time someone shares good news with you—whether it’s a call, a post, or a conversation—congratulate them, then ask, “How do you feel? How did you get here?” Instead of suggesting their next milestone, ask what they want to do next—or let them decide in their own time. And for those on the other side, let’s normalize saying, “I want to enjoy this win for now and I am yet to figure out where I go from here”
