40 Rules of Love

I bought this book looking at its pretty cover. That’s the thing about book hoarders, they many a times have weird reasons to add a book to the cart! After resting on the shelf for two weeks, I picked it to read. In a much despondent state as I was when I started reading, I soon got attached to it. The novel begins with the story of Ella Rubinstein and then gradually narrates the story of Shams and Rumi and their 40 rules of love. The two parallel stories that are so beautifully woven in the novel took me to distant lands of Konya and Northampton. Just as Ella finds herself deprived of love and devoid of happiness and starts reading a manuscript written by an unknown author. I , who was going through a similar crisis in my life trying to find love and happiness, happened to read this book by an author unknown to me. Most of the lines have been so relatable on days when it was necessary for me to hear them. I don't believe in magic, but it felt as if those lines were meant to be read by me on those days. I am midway through the book and I already can feel a strange connection to it just as the protagonist feels with the manuscript she reads. Is this what the author calls Sweet Blasphemy? Is this why Rumi says, "What you seek is seeking you"?

I don't know if Ella finds love at the end of the novel, I hope she does and just like her someday so do I...

As of for the book I would recommend people to read it if you are in need of an escape, in search of love or in love with poetry!

Mother

Such is my mother…
Sometimes a friend, sometimes my father.

In face of adversity, she is a careless laughter
Like on a cloudy night; a star shining brighter.

She will scold me and then cry over it,
Sometimes bitter but mostly sweet.

She says,
"I am with you, get up and give a fight",
On the darkest days, she is my flashlight.

A warm blanket on a cold winter,
Such is my mother…

Expression

They speak, scream and yell making me feel guilty,
I cry , whimper and cower in the corner thinking I am faulty.

Their words pierce through my soul like a shrapnel,
Mind stops working,
Body sweats and I can't stop shivering.

Then the mind starts playing a game,
Trying to reason my thoughts and finding something to blame.
I think to myself,
Why am I like this?
Was the situation at fault or something that I missed?

I am not able to answer their questions,
Almost stunted by a flood of emotions.
I want to explain but my words defy me,
Instead of help they turn up against me.

So I run to my room in search of some privacy,
And with an intent to soothe myself, I write poetry.

A dream

I am sitting in a porch of my house with glass doors that open in the garden, sipping my morning tea. I am wearing a white linen pyjama kurta set which is soft and comforting, my hair let loose and the early morning sun rays touching my face changing the colour of my eyes from coffee to hazel brown. The breeze is fresh and I could see rose bushes blooming with flowers. I wonder how far I have come from what I was a couple of years ago.

Today I am not worried about the money I need to save, people I need to tend, chores I have to do. I am neither regretful of the past nor anxious about the future. I hold no grudges with people who did me wrong nor I am hurtful of the bad experiences. I live in the moment today and I am completely satisfied with what life has to offer me. My heart is filled with gratitude for the people who have stood by me through my kith and kin and to God for blessing me with good health and loving family.

My eyes are closed when I am imagining this and a smile passes on my lips. I think to myself, this is how paradise might feel like.

How sensitive are we?

Every day the world gets a bit more crazier and so does my mind. I am baffled by the insensitivity people show towards each other. Be it your friends, colleagues, bosses, relatives or your social media followers for that matter. You open up your social account and there are blaring examples of utter nonsense this world pours in every minute of the day.

We see or hear someone attempting a suicide and there we are throwing instant judgements on how weak that person was to run away from the challenges in life without even knowing the victim's state of mind which led him/her to take such drastic measures. We live in a world which constantly emphasises on eating well, sleeping well and staying healthy but we give so little attention to emotional well-being. Even in office, it's okay to take a leave of absence if you are having fever or headache or any other physical ailment, but if you are feeling stressed and need an off to clear your mind, it is not considered a good enough reason. Instead you get a moral lecture from the management that stress and hectic schedule is part of the job. Is it not proved that if you are not well emotionally it eventually takes a toll on your physical health? And why does it have to be stressful in the first place? Why can’t we have effective resource management where the employee is not slogging for 10 hours a week and even on weekends? Why do we have Employee Assistance Programs when they seldom reach out to the employees?

There are articles printed/uploaded and published , where they suggest to talk to friends or anyone close about how you feel. But how many of us whom a depressed/ stressed person reaches out to actually listen to their story? Instead we all consider ourselves as certified therapists and set out giving advice on how he/she should work on self and ignore the rest, then we dust our hands thinking our work is done. Do we all understand that at times what someone in distress needs the most is an audience who listens? No judgements, no solutions, no preaching, just a confidante to open up to.

May be if we all acknowledge that the person in front of us who claims is losing it, is being stressed, is getting irritated and is not the normal self ; is actually going through all of those emotions, try to listen what he/she has to say and show some empathy we may not have so many people suffering from depression and gradually committing suicide. It's time we start giving equal importance to emotional well-being ! May be then we all become a bit more human and less robotic in this ever changing mechanical world of people who are obsessed with the rat race of achieving one milestone after the other.

Escape to wilderness

Often stuck in the rut of our mundane routines of demanding city lives, we all need an escape to somewhere quite and peaceful. Below is my poem which reflects on the same.

Take me to wilderness,

A place full of bliss and happiness.

Where the lush green grass touches my feet,

And the sky is filled with birds' fleet

Take me to wilderness,

Away from the city's chaos and madness.

Away from the banter of our mechanical lives,

A place so beautiful where the nature thrives.

Let me breathe air so pure,

On a land without any diseases to cure.

I want to run on the meadows and sleep under the stars,

Some place distant from the reach of buses or cars.